~Random Optimistic Frustration~ (kori)

Tomorrow is February 1, 2013...where is the time going?   Dave and I have almost been married for 9 years this coming valentines day... to all of you that know us and our track history, this is awesome!!  That was supposed to be sort of a joke (Nicole, I need that sarcasm font).  Dave and I have found a new level in our relationship over the past year.  It has been challenging and uplifting, scary and happy.  I have seen Dave sit by my side through hours of waiting.  I have heard him advocating for me when I couldn't.  He has listened to me complain and cry and laugh and be sad and scared.  He has helped me find courage when I wanted to give up.  He tries to understand just where my craziness is coming from at times all while saying he loves me and always will.  He makes me feel safe when I need it and forces me to be strong when I need to be.  His hand is always there for me to hold and always just a phone call away. He reminds me to watch my words at times, which is needed these days.  I would be lost without him.  As sung by Eminem:

"I just wanna love ya, for the rest of my life I wanna hold you in the mornin, hold you through the night"



David and Kori sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G :)



9th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Pottery
Modern Anniversary Gift: Leather
Travel Anniversary Gift Ideas: Mexico

I guess I should start this off with a disclaimer.  I have spend the last 2 weeks visiting new doctors, being told new and old things, have been trying to keep up on wife, mom, and friend duties and currently have only had 5 hours or maybe even a little less of sleep before writing this, that said there may be some typos or mispelled words, or maybe even an out of place word, or just plain randomness..

C working on homework with George.

My two best friends Donna and Cherri...I am frustrated I don't get to see you as much as last but optimistic that our friendship is strong enough to endure through this long ordeal.  Thanks for standing by my side always.

Cherri and me!!

Referee and coaching pratice for R.

I started writing this post a few different times, but I was just angry and unhappy.  I was writing from the heart, but it didn't feel very productive.  My emotions have been out of whack to say the least lately, but I really keep wanting to focus on the positive.  I deleted that last few posts and never published them.  I don't what to do with my feelings just yet.  Maybe that will be a later post, I don't know.

Let's just say 2013 hasn't been going according to the plan I thought.  It has had it's up and down's already.  I keep trying to stay optimistic but have some pent up frustrations.  We are starting over it feel like.  Routine doctor check here in with an amazing Dr. Meyers has led to a busy week.  She made some calls after spending time with Nicole and I a few times asking questions.  At the wait and see rate we have taken with the Billings Neurologist Group, we are basically doing nothing and getting no where.  I am not getting worse-optimistic, I am not getting better- frustration.  Living in limbo land is rough.  I personally feel that I would like a doctor look at my records, labs and scans and come back with an anwer of what this is and what we will do to fix it.  I am ready to accept anything, good or bad.  I find my self just wanting to know so I can make decisions.  If I was told I had 2 years to live, I would stop somethings I am doing and start doing other things.  I have been "recovering" since May last year....but my MRI looks the same last week as it did before in August, something is not right.  So now we run more tests.  MRI, EEG, Blood cultures and who knows what else. 

This is my new massage and relaxation chair.

Needed a hand to give blood.....





1 vial today, 4 vials tomorrow, 6 vials the next time...I am optimistic my blood will keep replenishing itself.

 

careful of the scar



The tech calls them expensive dread locks.



26 electrodes went here for 2 hours.

And finally the wierd test is over and I have a new hair due!!!

There is Something About Mary...LOL...this wierd conductive cream though.  Basically tile grout.

I now spend my days wondering if I will ever be normal again....then I hang out with my family and wonder if we ever were normal to start with.  They sure have been awesome this year.  My crazy family.  I love you all!!

C

D

  Trying to keep it normal:

W

w

You fit right in Courtney:)

R

Crazy Cousins

oh J..

This just can't be normal.

Can you see the fun we have....I have to get better, I might be the only sane one in the bunch.

Planking in MT...miss those days.  Go David!






 Well, I think I need to sleep now.  I keep hoping for good news and trying not to be scared.  Put on a smile and go about the day.  Frustration:  might need more brain surgery for a biopsy Optimistic:  shaved my head once and hair grew back.  Frustration: need bigger hospital Optimisitic: they will have answers.  As S says:

It can only get better from here (kori)

Happy 2013!!!

Well, here it is a new year.  I was so excited for 2013 that I waited until a few days into January to end up in the ER again.  OK, I know it is getting old (TRUST ME, I KNOW).  It is pretty crazy when  you go to the ER and the PA on call still remembers you even after 3 months, but that's another story. First let me tell you a little bit about our magical Christmas.

Christmas was going to be more challenging this year with me not working or driving or really even having much motivation for the holidays at all.  I really wanted Christmas to be left in the attic, but I realized that our kiddos needed Christmas.  C sat down one day and asked me if Santa was coming to our house this year or if she had been bad.  I realized at that point, I had to shake the Christmas blahs and focus on the family and the meaning of Christmas, the magical meaning.  I gave her a big hug and promised her Santa would come to our house and we got the stockings up that day.

Even left a bag for coal, "just in case."

Christmas happened in our house.  Thank you to everyone who made it happen.  You all helped keep our Christmas traditions alive.  Some secret Santa even made it all magical again.  Thank you to the person that left the gifts on our front porch on Christmas Eve.  I can't even explain how marveled the kids where by this.  Thank you to my elves that wrapped presents and baked goodies.  Things would not have happened in this household without the help from everyone.  I can't seem to say Thank You enough these days.
                             THANK YOU TO ALL!!!!

Exploring at Grandma and Grandpa's  in Butte!

Winning at Old Maid on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve Eve Fairmont tradition kept alive.
 

 Here is the Christmas chaos cheer in our home this year:

Excited kids on Christmas morning!

Let the Christmas wrestling begin...I think D is close to taping out.

Then off to Grandma and Grandpa's house we go. On the highway and through the snow......

Maybe we should get D an extra set of keys for his truck, but why a coat hanger workers so well.

A bit more wrestling and a cheerleader!

Christmas beauty salon, W is such a good sport.

Serious discussions about cows, hay and tractors.  All smiles. 

Our wonderful family.

Play time !!!

A giant 3D dolphin to color!!

3D T-Rex too!

Tough guys!!

So, here it is the second week of 2013.  I mailed all my medical records and information off to John Hopkins to get a second opinion on just what the heck is going on with my health.  I guess when you don't call in sick for years and then suddenly have to take a medical leave of absence from work, things might need looked at more.  Real quick update.  I had to go to the ER because I had a strange infection starting on my right ear.  It spread within 24 hours to my face and down my neck.

Cellulitis of the face...another bacterial infection??????

I just love IV antibiotics!!!!

Dave really was starting to miss his old chair in the hospital room.

 Since it was on the right side where the initial infection of the brain started, we wasted no time in getting to the ER.  Had a great time getting a CT and blood drawn.  I actually felt bad for the nurse and lab lady that tried to get blood and start an IV.  My veins no longer want to be nice.  Long story short, a few days of  IV antibiotic treatments twice a day at the ER (they gave me the choice of coming back or being admitted, I may have laughed out loud at the nice doctor when he said it)  and 2 weeks of oral antibiotics and I should be as good as new, or at least as good as I was getting.         HA HA.  :) :) :)  Still on the slow road to recovery.  New symptoms appear and new doctors.  Some swelling and scaring in the brain, but this new infection didn't travel to the brain, so that is good!!

That was not quite the fun start to the new year we expected, but I must say the ER is always entertaining!  However,  I STILL fully believe this year will be awesome.  D started his first classes at MSU. W will be starting his senior year of high school and w is going to be taller than his dad this year. S is signing up for high school classes.  I can't believe she is going to high school.  R and C were so excited to go back to school after the long break.  Dave and I are determined get our life back to normal (well, normal for us;).  No more date nights at any medical facilities. 

The SCRWD family.....watch out 2013 we are going to kick your butt!!!

A few New Years resolutions:

R- to get along with C and eat my veggies
C- not to fight with R and play with my stuffed animals more
S-work hard in math and not fight so much with brothers and sisters
Me- Get healthy, finish up goals, go camping and enjoy life everyday


Still enjoying the backyard wildlife.  There are so many doves in the yard lately!!  Can you find them?

Camo doves!!

Cheers to everyone and here's to a fabulous 2013!!